Great Glass Walls

Image credit: Mine, Beijing 2010

Image credit: Mine, Beijing 2010

Dear Anonymous,

I tried to write a note to you today but when I was about to send it, I thought of all the synapses that would fire in your brain and cause you to respond in the way that you would, because you think the things that you naturally do.

And I wondered in that moment, how many people I have loved had wanted to write to me but couldn’t because they knew the same …

… that some strange volition within me would take the purity of their words and feed an ego that just couldn’t know better at that time.

How many?

I wanted to tell you so many details. Things that would get lost on the way to your deeper wisdom. I have tried this before. I know. They will.

So now I will send you nothing at all–something more pure than the ego can touch. Something so subtle it overwhelms the world. Something that will never be said but somehow be known until the moment before we die or almost do–what is real, what is true.

There is no me. And there is no you.

Poetry/Prose, Yoga & Spiritual

Is it … Desire?

My cat, Pasha--image and editing: mine

My cat, Pasha–image and editing: mine

Was looking at my cat’s fur, as I do often

How perfectly it grows

Most people think about how annoying its shedding is

I guess I like to think of how it grows

Where it comes from


There’s something so elegant about cats

Inspiring if you watch them

The way they move

Their very structure

Springy joints

Powerful, understated muscles

This fur

The way it lines his face

The tiny, short hairs growing along his nose


And I wonder and wonder

What makes this fur grow?

What holds all of the cells of his fur together?

What commands the molecules that join to make the cells?



Those molecules, those atoms, they can do whatever they want

But something commands them, to become, his fur


And then I start to think, about everything, this way

What holds anything together?

Is it …


What if it was, desire

What if I sit here and type

Because of desire?


The two cells that started what I am

They were held together by something

Their molecules


The molecules, the atoms

That could be doing whatever they want

Somehow, they come together

To do something very specific


Scientists will laugh at me now

DNA child, it’s DNA

But with this mind of a child

I will continue ceaselessly

As if it were a matter of my favorite toy

On the shelf


The answers

Like that toy

Will never satisfy

As much as inspire

More and more


More and more looking

At more and more toys

More and more answers

That never complete

This … desire?


I’m going to keep on asking

Like the scientists do, too

Because maybe I’m not just a child

Maybe I am one of them

Maybe we all can be


What brings that DNA together?

What commands those molecules?

What is it?


Look at anything around you

Ask yourself–what is it?


Whatever it is, you are a product of it

So am I


And if it’s desire, shouldn’t we tune into it?

I mean, if you do something you don’t desire

Aren’t you going against it?


If two people don’t share a desire

It is incomplete

Nothing will hold together

It will break apart


If someone stalks you

You will ask the police to come

You will tell the person to fuck off

A million times

Even if their molecules

Construct an ego

That won’t listen


You are part of this desire matrix

Telling molecules what to do

Your molecules

Someone else’s


The configuration we are discussing now

My fingers and your mind

As you read this

There is a command of molecules, atoms


The electric attention of your mind

If a video can travel over invisible space and time

To reach your phone

Why can’t desire bring this message to your mind?

And your mind to draw its own conclusions?


I’m not convinced

Never convinced

And if you read my stuff you know

I don’t believe anything

So that I can study everything


And today, I wonder


What is it?

Is it … desire?






Welcome the Year of the Wooden Horse

Sometimes it's good to let the big hand take you where you're meant to go.

Sometimes it’s good to let the big hand take you where you’re meant to go.


Surrender (Gouache, August 2013)

Music/Book Reviews

Summer Go-to Music

Hit on some solid stuff this summer and felt the need to share.

The top two selections are new music and the collections linked are 100 percent solid, IMO. Their genres push the edges of those existing. Here goes.


I stumbled on Scott Hansen’s masterwork when listening to another favorite of mine, Ulrich Schnauss … must say Hansen trumped what brought me to him. Indeed, this has colored my world. Every time I listen it drills me deeper into my feelings, so I use it carefully. I can’t say that it had me looking through a lens because this stuff pushes me deeper inside myself, to close my eyes and see beyond my wildest dreams. Sometimes I use Tycho even when it isn’t playing out loud—my mind will produce the tracks and I feel them massage my heart, connect me to a part of myself.

Hansen’s blog’s (ISO50) playlists have become a source of inspiration for me as well. I listen to them while I paint or mill around the house. He and his crew are either out on the edge or in the deepest cuts of artists like “Yes.” It’s really otherworldly. I recommend highly.

Toro y Moi—Anything in Return

I found this guy, Chaz Bundick, through the ISO50 blog, actually. He’s since medicated my summer. Bundick’s apparently the father of a new “Chill Wave” movement. I first heard the song “Say That,” off of the album “Anything in Return,” and was hooked. THEN, I watched the video—and I thought “this guy really gets it … WTF, he’s just awesome!!” Rose quartz then rung my neck and I’ve been a fan ever since.

Zero 7—Best Of (Emphasis on a couple of remixes)

Okay, this is hardly new or edgy. But something about this collection, with its experimental remixes, as a whole, rocked my socks this summer and continues to. Here are a few hints:

Finally, blast from the past …

INXS—Best Of

I realize every time I listen to this collection that:

A) I don’t get sick of any of the songs because B) the message inside each song is totally evolved and the music that goes with it supports this.

This music is timeless. It’s about enjoying life, and after all the yoga and meditation I’ve done, I find that it’s actually really evolved and consistently sophisticated and positive in its message.


Up Close and Personal (Concept, Guache, May 2013)

A sketch from a decade ago turns into a painting that longs for a better color scheme–here’s the first attempt anyway 😉


Up Close and Personal (Concept, Guache, May 2013)


Cutting Through the Mean Reds with the Blues

Working with gouache is like eating with your eyes … mmmm, yummy.


Cutting Through the Mean Reds with the Blues (April 2013)


Another one I found at Dad’s on the last visit … a gouache, in all of its over-glorified obviousness!


Sade (circa 1995)



Another one I found at Dad’s recently. Marking the point when I really fell in love with gouache.


Tomato and Onion Study (1995)



Dug up from a recent visit home.


Einstein’s Alter Ego (circa 1999)



This type of bird kept popping up in my meditation sessions. When I went to study it, I found a black one that was posed exactly as I imagined.


Indifference (August, 2012)


photo (7)


The Mask (concept circa 1999/completed July 2012)




Peacock (Spontaneous Meeting Sketch, June 2012)